Having lived in America and having lots of Americans as friends and family, I realise that the deep split over gun control still means that many many more Americans share your anguish than spout excuses. So you are far from alone. Given the way I regularly feel about British politicians and their words and actions, it just isn't healthy to identify yourself via them. More locally, outside the partisan war, you will find people doing good stuff. That's where you can regain your sense that there is an America worthy of the name.